Rant and Rave

Rant and Rave

I am out of control with my mood today... I don't feel great. Probably developing a sinus infection. But I've got the right meds so I'm hoping to get ahead of it before it gets too bad. 

I think one thing that put me over the edge was when I spoke with my boss about swapping shifts on Saturdays she informed me that there's talk about moving everyone to 8 hour shifts. My current schedule has two days that are shorter shifts (sat being one of those days) and with good reason! Due to my working every other weekend I end up working 6 days straight (thurs-tues) every other week. There's no way I'd be able to do six 8 hour shifts in a row especially if I'm booked heavy. My ideal work load is a max of 6 massage hours a day. But I'm happy if I get 4 hours each day. ...and exhausted. Anyway, she agreed to let me swap my shift this weekend which means I'm working 12-7 (was 8:30-2:00) <-this is not an equal trade  :-/

I told her with training every Saturday that each week we add more distance which means more time and I don't want to have to ask every week... She told me I'm lucky b/c I'm off every other weekend as it is since those are the busiest days. So, I guess we'll see how this goes...

I'm just so irritated with my work schedule because I feel like I spend so much time there when I could be doing other things! And now they want us to work longer hours?!? Wha? 

Okay enough of my work rant!

Next Monday (dec 5) is my 12 week post op appointment. I'm not holding my breath but I'd like to lose another 8 lbs by then because I think it'd be awesome to weigh in under 200 lbs! Today I weighed 207.6. I'm still thrilled with this weight either way! When I met TJ I was around 210 so I'm moving into a whole new me that he's never seen before! And that I'm not sure I'll recognize! I plan to take measurements tomorrow and I'll post my new total inches lost when I get that number!

So I'm trying to do this post through email since I have to do everything from my mobile... If it works right there should be a pic of my plate from Thanksgiving at Grandmas here:

That reminds me... I had the hardest time with meat on Sunday!! I tried to eat some turkey at lunch and it hung in my stomach/esophagus and I threw up. Then at dinner TJ grilled some elk steaks. I had two bites and again... It hung up and I threw up. I was able to eat some softer foods but meat just wasn't happening! So frustrating! 

I did a little shopping today... First of all, I got my new running shoes!!!

I was on the hunt for a longer pair of pants for work and found some at Target. Not really "trousers" but they'll do for now. I needed something besides capris for this cold weather!!

I found two cute dresses and a couple of tops also. 4 of the 6 items I got in a large! Woohoo! OH! That reminds me, I bought a skirt at ON two weeks ago thinking it was a 14 and that I was buying a size smaller. Well, it was actually a 12 and I didn't know till I got home and was putting it away. I tried that skirt on and actually got it fastened with out much effort!! Of course I was "dunlapped" over the waist, but I still got it on!! Yay for almost being a size 12 again!

Still on the hunt for the right boots...

I've gotten several comments about how my face is looking noticeably thinner all of a sudden. This is something I really noticed in myself lately too... Just to compare, here's a side by side of a pic from last year with a pic from last week:

That is me chillin' after turkey day lunch. I was enjoying the fullness after that slice of chocolate cheese cake! 

Anyway, enough chatter for now! More to come!

Blog picture test

This is just a test to see if I did it right...

Turkey, Ham and Taters, OH MY!!

Well... it's over! I made it through my first Thanksgiving with my tiny tummy! Sadly, not without eating a bunch of stuff I shouldn't have, but hey... a bite of this and a bite of that never hurt anyone right? WRONG!! I know I know... I should not have eatin the cheesecake or the gingersnaps... all 10 of them (over the course of about 6 hours) but whatever it's one of two days out of the year that everyone pigs out, why should I be any different?

So lets see... I started grazing on cheese cubes and one deviled egg about an hour before lunch... then the meal bgan! ...on my plate I had Turkey, Ham, one spoon of green bean cassarole, one spoon of peas, quinoa stuffed poblanos, and the smallest portion of mashed potato's I've ever served in my life!! I ate all my greens , two bites of quinoa, two bites of taters, and a couple bites of turkey, one bite of ham. I. WAS. STUFFED. and miserable for about 30 mins! probably b/c I ate too fast (again). I tend to do that sometimes huh! Anyway, as soon as I was feeling better I went and cut a little sliver of heaven in the form of Chocolate cheesecake that my cousin's wife had made! it was delish! ...and I was miserable for another 30 mins! later the Ginger bread cookies and ginger snaps... OH MY!

When we started for round 2 around dinner time I had a little serving of green bean cassarole and a couple bites of ham and turkey... then a serving of quinoa around 9:00 at home.

That pretty much sums up my whole day in food!! Over the course of the day it's really not much!

I enjoyed some time with my dads side of the family, visiting with my Aunt, Uncle and cousins from Louisianna... as well as local family. My dad is also in town for a couple of days!

BTW: this Quinoa I keep talking about could possibly be my new favorite food! it's loaded with protein and is a great replacement for rice in a lot of dishes!  I'll try to post some links another time!

I'm at work right now trying to type all this in a hurry so I'm sorry for all the errors in spelling and such...

More to come! Y'all have a great day!

Family Foes

There's something I haven't mentioned here that can be a sensitive subject. Family. 

Family support or lack of support can play a big role in the Weight loss surgery journey. My husband and I talked early on about who we would tell and who we wouldn't. Now, those who know me can attest that I have always been a very open person with my life story. I often find it difficult to keep secrets from others. So this was no different. Originally I agreed that we would keep this decision between us. Then I started thinking about how I'd explain two weeks off work to my coworkers and then the rapid weight loss... So I was open with most of them prior to surgery. I told close friends and some family but I was holding out on my mom particularly until I was certain it was going to happen... Actually it was after I told my sister that I knew I had to tell my mom because they spend a lot more time together than I do with her. 

We were all together for a family day of swimming and hanging out when I decided to talk to her about  my decision to have surgery. I knew she wouldn't like the idea but I didn't expect her to take it as bad as she did. Thankfully I had my brother & sister in law there to back me up! Long story short, my mom was not in any way supportive of my surgery. For the next few weeks she relentlessly sent me info via text about the negatives of Bariatric surgery in general. Every time I was at her house which became fewer and far between, I'd get an earful of the same stuff. There would even be discussion about it when I wasn't there! 

Words have been said, opinions expressed, feelings have been hurt & a family is divided over all of this. 

I want to be healthy. I hope to be able to conceive a healthy baby and maintain a healthy pregnancy. In the future I hope to instill healthy ideals into our children and let it continue on into the future generations! I never expected that my decision to reach these goals with the help of a surgical procedure would divide my family to such extremes!

With the holidays approaching rapidly  I'm sad to say that this year it's not about family get-togethers in our house. They will happen, but there is already an unspoken discomfort and honestly, sadness within myself that certain family members are choosing to spend the holidays with friends or exclude us (or themselves) from family gatherings. 

I haven't seen or actually spoken to my mom since about two/three weeks pre-op. I have seen my sister several times and she basically told me she won't ask me about it b/c it's a sore subject. I can appreciate her honesty, but she won't even acknowledge my significant weight loss... 

The bottom line is: you don't have to agree with my decision, you don't even have to like my decision, but you shouldn't disregard my success (so far) just because you feel my surgery wasn't necessary. 

I really want to end this on a happy note. Please understand, I'm basically sharing this b/c somewhere out there is another person struggling with their family's reactions to WLS. I choose not to be a victim and to rise above our differences. Their disinterest in my life happenings is their loss!

Every day when I go to work my team is so great about telling me I look great! I'm almost embarrassed sometimes! My friends have all been very supportive, and my clients also! I love when I see someone that doesn't know I had surgery and they tell me how great I look!

I'm still inspired by these lyrics:
I came to win, to fight,
 to conquer, to thrive.
I came to win, to survive, 
to prosper, to rise.
To fly....
(Nikki Minaj)

In fact I had some wrist bands made that say  "Fight-Conquer-Thrive-Survive-Prosper-Rise" which I will be selling for my Team in Training fund-raising efforts!
Let me know if you want any!



Heaviest Known Weight: 285
Start of pre-op diet: 274
Surgery Day Weight: 253
Current Weight: 210

Nine weeks and halfway to goal!

I'm nine weeks post op and officially half way to goal!! Last week I measured and have lost a total of 31.75 inches head to toe! I'm loving the progress and feeling great!

Sorry I don't have any pics to include but there are a few in this video I made over the weekend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94zduEYJTAc

I little background on the video... This time last year I weighed somewhere around 285. Hunting with my hubby was not enjoyable! He likes to walk all over "walk & stalk" as he says. Last year I could hardly keep up, got winded and whiny! This year is a whole new ball game! We went out over the weekend with my nephew (xander) and brother (chad). Hubby had me trekkin all over about two miles worth of hiking, ridges, fields, hills, creeks... I never got winded! I was still whiny, but that's b/c I wanted to be in a blind on my own and sit and wait! Anyhoo, the video is of my first kill. It does include the shot so if you are an ARA, don't watch!

Regarding food at nine weeks: well, it's been about the same for me the past month or so... Some days I can really eat like 3oz a meal and other times I get like three bites in and I'm done. Either the food doesnt feel good, doesn't taste good, or I just get full! I get a lil depressed occasionally when I can't eat, because there are definitely still days I wish I could eat a real burger or have some pasta! But I'm not there yet and not sure I ever will be again! Mourning food seems ridiculous to me, but it's very real. I mean really, who cries b/c they can't have a real cheeseburger!? (this gal) who gets cranky b/c they can't indulge in a big bowl of spaghetti!? (this gal) who gets so desperate for a cheese enchilada smothered in queso that she orders one removes the tortilla and eats melted cheddar smothered in queso?! (you bet I did) I've been Shopping amazon for anything resembling a tortilla chip in low carb form like soy chips or whatever.. Really craving the crunch and wanting to feel less guilty about having an old favorite...chips/queso or salsa... And pizza... Man I want pizza lately. We never even ate it that much but for some reason it sounds good to me lately.
Damn carbs have a hold on my mind I guess! Maybe it's true what Dr. B says... "they are as addicting as cocaine" and maybe I'm going through a little regression/withdrawal. Who really knows.

Hiccupcakes

I've had the hiccups for the better part of the last hour... Pretty much everything I've had in the way of food today doesn't settle well. I'll take a couple of bites then I feel nauseous. Thought I was doing okay then I got in the shower and almost hurled. Maybe the heat wasn't such a good idea. 

Additionally, my skin is itching like CRAZY right now! I cannot stop scratching! I'm trying zirtec to see if it helps but I feel like its just my body shrinking and my skin responding. 

I've had a few orders for cakes this month! Didn't think I was quite ready last month but now I'm doing alright with having the sweet stuff around.

Not doing so hot on the journaling my food. Trying to use myfitnesspal app, but I'm still not doing it everyday! Started walking (as I posted before). Training for the half marathon in March is going to be tough but I need to do it! For myself, and for LLS.

I heard this song the other day and the chorus really struck me: 
I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive.
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise.
To fly....

I want this to be my theme for this journey. Because I came to win! And so far that's what it feels like! I'm going to conquer the weight, the diet, the emotions, and the marathon. I will survive, prosper and rise through it all! 

Time for bed, the hiccups are gone!

4 weeks and 8 weeks combined

Here are few tidbits from the Weekend TJ and I spent down in Rockport, TX... Mid October.

FLYING HIGHER!!
(friday)
Flying on a smaller plane headed to Corpus for the weekend. I had no trouble buckling my seatbelt! Last time I flew I was 50 lbs heavier. While waiting to board the plane I glanced down at my DL which I had been holding along with my boarding pass... Almost cried right there at the gate when I realized how FAT my face is on my pic! It's little realities like that that make this sooo worth the journey! 

Work... Has been insanely busy since I've been back. I think I've had maybe two days with space available. Every other day has been stacked with clients! This is definitely a good thing since being off for two weeks (no PTO) for surgery. I think we'll get caught up on things an not feel so tight financially. 

(Sunday)
Eating: it's different from day-to-day and sometimes from one meal to the next. For example, today I had a whole banana with a spoon of peanut butter for breakfast. 3 large grilled shrimp and some sautéd mushroom and onions for lunch. For dinner, I attempted about 10 bites of a taco salad at the airport bar. (no shell of course!) it really was ground meat, beans and lettuce...
After each meal today I've felt full and gross. Lunch I realized I was eating fast so I started pacing my bites. But I was still full after. Dinner which I just finished, is weighing heavy and I want to lay down!! Actually feeling a little pukey too.

(Monday) I puked at the airport. Just a little bit. Felt better by the time we boarded the plane! I think it was just a bad food choice...

I weighed this morning; 225.6!
Down 27.4 lbs since surgery. 
Post op is next Monday. I'm hopeful this will be a good rate of loss for me!




Today 11/09/2011 - 8 weeks post op - I am at 215 and have lost a total of 31.75 inches head to toe!


I've begun walking some, not as often as I should but for longer times than they wanted at my Doctors office...


I'm able to drink much more in a swallow than I was several weeks ago, so that's good! 


Didn't really plan on updating right now so I don't have much to write, but I wanted to get something on here and add a photo, even if it is an old one! 


Had a recent revelation that gave me a new outlook regarding self image and such. I can really see how my new self confidence is helping me at work and how I carry myself and everything! It's a great story I'll have to share another time. 


Sorry it's not a great update! If i get a new computer and maybe internet at home I promise to be better at this blogging thing!