White Queso Jalapeño appetizer

I love this simple recipe for white Queso. However, having a no/low carb lifestyle will not allow for the chips for dipping! So, I chose to stuff the queso in jalapeños!

White Queso:
1 pound lean ground meat (I used venison)
1 block low fat cream cheese
1 can rotel tomatoes (drained if stuffing peppers)

Brown meat in a skillet, season with salt, pepper, cumin... Whatever seasoning you like. Add in cheese and rotel stir/simmer until cheese is melted through.

Stuff peppers:

Wear gloves!! Wash approx 15 jalapeño peppers. Cut in half the length of the pepper. Scoop out the seeds and veins with a melon baller.
Stuff peppers with white queso mixture.
Bake for 10-15 minutes at 350.

Optional: Add Bacon to each pepper. 1 pkg bacon cut in half or fourths. Either wrap the peppers or place the slice on top before baking! TIP:  if you dip the bacon in cold water before placing on the pepper it helps the bacon to not curl so badly while it cooks!

The ones pictured here have extra bacon b/c I made them for my hubby and had a few pieces left over...

New Stuffed Poblano recipe!

Since I learned I couldn't have the quinoa stuffed peppers I decided to alter the recipe to where it's friendly for my diet needs! I still haven't adjusted my cooking for smaller portions so this makes a full pan of peppers and I still have some of the stuffing left over that I can use for another dish!

Anyway, here's the recipe! Hope you enjoy it!

Soosy's Stuffed Poblano's

4-6 good sized Poblano's (prepare first)

1 cup of low fat cheese (goat cheese, part skim mozzarella, low fat cream cheese, etc)

1 pound of lean ground meat

1 cup roasted red peppers, chopped

1 can of Rotel tomatoes 

1 can black beans (optional)

1 pkg frozen spinach

Cilantro to garnish (optional)

Seasonings: sea salt, black pepper, chili powder, cumin, garlic powder. 

Start preparing the Poblano's:

Place on cookie sheet lined with parchment. Spray with olive oil and roast in oven at 450 approx 20 mins rotating at 10 mins. 

Stuffing - brown ground meat in a skillet. Cook thoroughly. Add in rotel, seasonings, red peppers, spinach beans and half of the cheese.  Simmer 5 mins. 

Continue with Poblano's:

The skins should look slightly burnt. Remove from oven and place in a bowl. Cover the bowl with plastic and allow the peppers to steam for a minimum 5 mins. Then gently and carefully remove skins, stems, and seeds. Careful not to pull the veins!

Stuff the peppers, place in baking dish with sauce. Sprinkle the rest of cheese on top and bake for 15 mins or until the cheese is melted! Enjoy!

Sauce options: 

1 can campbell's nacho cheese sauce. This is the easy route. Has a mild flavor.

Salsa Fresca: chopped bell pepper medley , jalapeño de-seeded, roma tomatoes no seeds, red onion, cilantro, lime juice and seasonings. Fresh flavor, not too spicy. Do not bake this sauce with the poblanos!

Chipotle sauce: 1can chipotles in adobo sauce, two cloves fresh garlic, 1/4 -1/2 cup water, cilantro to taste. Combine in food processor and  pulse until smooth pour in baking dish with stuffed poblano's. Very hot!

Becoming more Weight Wise

Drove up to Edmond yesterday for my 12 week post op (@11 weeks) Got to enjoy the first snow of the season on the drive up! I left super early not knowing how bad the weather might be but it wasn't bad at all! Just super cold and windy!!

Weighed in at 208.5, which is two pounds more than what my scale read yesterday morning, which was two pounds more than what I weighed the other day... (this morning, 203.6) However, Dr. B told me I was at 45% at 11 weeks where the average loss is 67% by 6 mos po. (I think I understood that right) either way it was great news! He was very pleased with my results and even said that if I continue at this rate we'll be talking about how to slow my weight loss by the next appointment in March! He wants me to see Dr. Keller for a post op counsel session. I've had a couple days I thought I needed that anyway. So we're on the same page there. 

Visiting with Chris (diet) was great. Except for the part where I asked if it was okay to eat Quinoa... No, it's still a carb, and we don't do carbs. Wah wah...

We went way over our time cuz I got chatty, but it was good! I think I really needed the reminder about why we don't do carbs and have a better understanding of how our body responds to them. Not sure I know how to re-explain it so that others get it though. She asked me about support group and I told her I hadn't found one that I really like yet because I feel like most of what I hear doesn't follow the WeightWise program. Is there a Bariatric doc in DFW that does a no carb program??? It would help me out a lot! Chris told me to just keep my WW filter on while at support groups and I'll do fine! I just don't want to come across rude if I disagree with what I hear at group!

I'm scheduled for heart rate testing on the 21st and will get the info I need to train at my proper heart rate. I'll also have Lauren (exercise) look over my training schedule and see if there should be any adjustments. She's running the Dallas Rock n Roll too!

I realized the other day that I haven't added my surgeons site to my blog yet. 

http://weightwise.com/default

I encourage anyone interested in Bariatric surgery to check out Weight Wise and their program. It's very thorough, but as I've said before that's what I liked about them. For me it's worth the time and the driving to have a great team with proven results!

I've been thinking about joining 24hr fitness so I have a place to do my training in doors. My co-worker showed me a deal from either Sam's or Costco for a two year membership PIF at $319. Great price for access to all clubs!

A pic of me feeling pretty, and yes I was driving!

So.... I may have mentioned that I was bringing back leg warmers. Well they are back and I'm showing you a few ways you can wear them and be cool. You know, cause that's how I roll...

;-)

Tucked in the boot, peeking out the top. Works well with short boots or tall boots! $12 on Amazon. Boots from Ross!

Thick/chunky warmers over the boot. With a skirt or with jeans. Can't go wrong! $12 at DSW (same boots)

I don't like these boots with out the warmers any more! And I like the little pom pom ties on these! Steve Madden, $12 @ DSW. Boots from Ross!

Intervention

I wanted to wait until December to add a Christmas-y pic! So here I am with Santa-Dexter at Walmart! Our Nephew had the pleasure of playing Santa and taking pics with lots of kids during one of his shifts! So naturally, we had to go and embarrass him at work! I forgot to tell him what I wanted and he wouldn't let me sit on his lap either! Lol! (we had just come straight from the ranch which is why I have my hair slicked up work style, and I'm sportin' the camo!)

Did a little shopping this week as I already posted about... But I did a little more on Wednesday, my day off. (this is where the need for an intervention comes in) Found this cute little silver sequin dress at Ross for $12! TJ doesn't know yet, but I'm going to wear it out one night real soon to celebrate getting below 200! Very very very soon! I think that will be something he will be happy to celebrate! 

I made the mistake of walking through the purses and handbag section. I did not realize that the Ross in Watauga had so many cute, DESIGNER handbags!! I mean Betsy Johnson, Michael Kors, Marc Jacobs, Guess... Just to name a few. Like the real deal too, not knock offs! I resisted the temptation this time but there were several calling my name! I mean what is the deal with getting skinny and wanting labels?? I even catch my self looking at stripper shoes! You know the pumps with all the flare and tiny little 6 inch heels! I'd break an ankle in heels that tall but that doesn't stop me from trying a pair on! I have got to stop the shopping...

So, here's an idea for us Bariatric patients... When it comes to buying new clothes, leave the tags on the items until you plan to wear it. Keep a ziplock bag or a shoebox or other filing system with receipts and if it gets close to the return deadline and you haven't worn that item OR you go to wear it and it's already too big, you can take it back in exchange for something else or get your money back! Since I'm wearing L/XL in some things an XL may not fit in two to four weeks so if I don't get a chance to wear that item it's gonna go back! Ross has an extended return date for the holidays. So anything I bought this week I have until mid January to return. That was good to know!


Alright folks, I'm in full swing Team in Training fundraiser mode now that I've got my Nikki Minaj inspired bracelets in!!! 
They are $3 each or 2 for $5 and I will mail them if you send me your address!
They say:
"Fight Conquer Thrive 
Survive Prosper Rise"
And
"iHateCancer"
I like to wear mine together accessorized with a thin black bracelet!

Please consider making a donation to LLS and help fund research that has and continues to save lives! 
Here is a link to my fundraising site: 

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ntx/rnrdall12/sgriffith


Okay... Request for funding over, on to other things like people boosting my ego! I'm getting a lot of compliments these days some in the form of actual compliments and others in the form of advice. Like people are asking ME for advice... Diet advice, fashion advice, or just advice in general. I take it as a compliment, but there's this little voice inside that still thinks like fat me and asks thinner me "did that just happen!?"
"does that person really want ME to help them with their style!?"
Just more of a reminder of the mental aspect of this whole deal. You really do have to work on yourself and make an effort to change how you think while your body is changing. I catch myself all the time thinking like fat me instead of thinking with the confidence of thinner me. It feels good though to be able to recognize the difference! 

So, the best compliment all week was our sweet little 17 year old borrowed front desk girl said she thought I was 20 when I asked her how old she thought I was! TWENTY! (I'm 31, closer to 32 btw, and started coloring my hair with purpose beyond style just after 30) so that was nice! I thought she was 20 also... Kids these days with the way they dress and wear their makeup..  You never can tell. 

Until next time...

~Susan

Rant and Rave

Rant and Rave

I am out of control with my mood today... I don't feel great. Probably developing a sinus infection. But I've got the right meds so I'm hoping to get ahead of it before it gets too bad. 

I think one thing that put me over the edge was when I spoke with my boss about swapping shifts on Saturdays she informed me that there's talk about moving everyone to 8 hour shifts. My current schedule has two days that are shorter shifts (sat being one of those days) and with good reason! Due to my working every other weekend I end up working 6 days straight (thurs-tues) every other week. There's no way I'd be able to do six 8 hour shifts in a row especially if I'm booked heavy. My ideal work load is a max of 6 massage hours a day. But I'm happy if I get 4 hours each day. ...and exhausted. Anyway, she agreed to let me swap my shift this weekend which means I'm working 12-7 (was 8:30-2:00) <-this is not an equal trade  :-/

I told her with training every Saturday that each week we add more distance which means more time and I don't want to have to ask every week... She told me I'm lucky b/c I'm off every other weekend as it is since those are the busiest days. So, I guess we'll see how this goes...

I'm just so irritated with my work schedule because I feel like I spend so much time there when I could be doing other things! And now they want us to work longer hours?!? Wha? 

Okay enough of my work rant!

Next Monday (dec 5) is my 12 week post op appointment. I'm not holding my breath but I'd like to lose another 8 lbs by then because I think it'd be awesome to weigh in under 200 lbs! Today I weighed 207.6. I'm still thrilled with this weight either way! When I met TJ I was around 210 so I'm moving into a whole new me that he's never seen before! And that I'm not sure I'll recognize! I plan to take measurements tomorrow and I'll post my new total inches lost when I get that number!

So I'm trying to do this post through email since I have to do everything from my mobile... If it works right there should be a pic of my plate from Thanksgiving at Grandmas here:

That reminds me... I had the hardest time with meat on Sunday!! I tried to eat some turkey at lunch and it hung in my stomach/esophagus and I threw up. Then at dinner TJ grilled some elk steaks. I had two bites and again... It hung up and I threw up. I was able to eat some softer foods but meat just wasn't happening! So frustrating! 

I did a little shopping today... First of all, I got my new running shoes!!!

I was on the hunt for a longer pair of pants for work and found some at Target. Not really "trousers" but they'll do for now. I needed something besides capris for this cold weather!!

I found two cute dresses and a couple of tops also. 4 of the 6 items I got in a large! Woohoo! OH! That reminds me, I bought a skirt at ON two weeks ago thinking it was a 14 and that I was buying a size smaller. Well, it was actually a 12 and I didn't know till I got home and was putting it away. I tried that skirt on and actually got it fastened with out much effort!! Of course I was "dunlapped" over the waist, but I still got it on!! Yay for almost being a size 12 again!

Still on the hunt for the right boots...

I've gotten several comments about how my face is looking noticeably thinner all of a sudden. This is something I really noticed in myself lately too... Just to compare, here's a side by side of a pic from last year with a pic from last week:

That is me chillin' after turkey day lunch. I was enjoying the fullness after that slice of chocolate cheese cake! 

Anyway, enough chatter for now! More to come!

Blog picture test

This is just a test to see if I did it right...

Turkey, Ham and Taters, OH MY!!

Well... it's over! I made it through my first Thanksgiving with my tiny tummy! Sadly, not without eating a bunch of stuff I shouldn't have, but hey... a bite of this and a bite of that never hurt anyone right? WRONG!! I know I know... I should not have eatin the cheesecake or the gingersnaps... all 10 of them (over the course of about 6 hours) but whatever it's one of two days out of the year that everyone pigs out, why should I be any different?

So lets see... I started grazing on cheese cubes and one deviled egg about an hour before lunch... then the meal bgan! ...on my plate I had Turkey, Ham, one spoon of green bean cassarole, one spoon of peas, quinoa stuffed poblanos, and the smallest portion of mashed potato's I've ever served in my life!! I ate all my greens , two bites of quinoa, two bites of taters, and a couple bites of turkey, one bite of ham. I. WAS. STUFFED. and miserable for about 30 mins! probably b/c I ate too fast (again). I tend to do that sometimes huh! Anyway, as soon as I was feeling better I went and cut a little sliver of heaven in the form of Chocolate cheesecake that my cousin's wife had made! it was delish! ...and I was miserable for another 30 mins! later the Ginger bread cookies and ginger snaps... OH MY!

When we started for round 2 around dinner time I had a little serving of green bean cassarole and a couple bites of ham and turkey... then a serving of quinoa around 9:00 at home.

That pretty much sums up my whole day in food!! Over the course of the day it's really not much!

I enjoyed some time with my dads side of the family, visiting with my Aunt, Uncle and cousins from Louisianna... as well as local family. My dad is also in town for a couple of days!

BTW: this Quinoa I keep talking about could possibly be my new favorite food! it's loaded with protein and is a great replacement for rice in a lot of dishes!  I'll try to post some links another time!

I'm at work right now trying to type all this in a hurry so I'm sorry for all the errors in spelling and such...

More to come! Y'all have a great day!

Family Foes

There's something I haven't mentioned here that can be a sensitive subject. Family. 

Family support or lack of support can play a big role in the Weight loss surgery journey. My husband and I talked early on about who we would tell and who we wouldn't. Now, those who know me can attest that I have always been a very open person with my life story. I often find it difficult to keep secrets from others. So this was no different. Originally I agreed that we would keep this decision between us. Then I started thinking about how I'd explain two weeks off work to my coworkers and then the rapid weight loss... So I was open with most of them prior to surgery. I told close friends and some family but I was holding out on my mom particularly until I was certain it was going to happen... Actually it was after I told my sister that I knew I had to tell my mom because they spend a lot more time together than I do with her. 

We were all together for a family day of swimming and hanging out when I decided to talk to her about  my decision to have surgery. I knew she wouldn't like the idea but I didn't expect her to take it as bad as she did. Thankfully I had my brother & sister in law there to back me up! Long story short, my mom was not in any way supportive of my surgery. For the next few weeks she relentlessly sent me info via text about the negatives of Bariatric surgery in general. Every time I was at her house which became fewer and far between, I'd get an earful of the same stuff. There would even be discussion about it when I wasn't there! 

Words have been said, opinions expressed, feelings have been hurt & a family is divided over all of this. 

I want to be healthy. I hope to be able to conceive a healthy baby and maintain a healthy pregnancy. In the future I hope to instill healthy ideals into our children and let it continue on into the future generations! I never expected that my decision to reach these goals with the help of a surgical procedure would divide my family to such extremes!

With the holidays approaching rapidly  I'm sad to say that this year it's not about family get-togethers in our house. They will happen, but there is already an unspoken discomfort and honestly, sadness within myself that certain family members are choosing to spend the holidays with friends or exclude us (or themselves) from family gatherings. 

I haven't seen or actually spoken to my mom since about two/three weeks pre-op. I have seen my sister several times and she basically told me she won't ask me about it b/c it's a sore subject. I can appreciate her honesty, but she won't even acknowledge my significant weight loss... 

The bottom line is: you don't have to agree with my decision, you don't even have to like my decision, but you shouldn't disregard my success (so far) just because you feel my surgery wasn't necessary. 

I really want to end this on a happy note. Please understand, I'm basically sharing this b/c somewhere out there is another person struggling with their family's reactions to WLS. I choose not to be a victim and to rise above our differences. Their disinterest in my life happenings is their loss!

Every day when I go to work my team is so great about telling me I look great! I'm almost embarrassed sometimes! My friends have all been very supportive, and my clients also! I love when I see someone that doesn't know I had surgery and they tell me how great I look!

I'm still inspired by these lyrics:
I came to win, to fight,
 to conquer, to thrive.
I came to win, to survive, 
to prosper, to rise.
To fly....
(Nikki Minaj)

In fact I had some wrist bands made that say  "Fight-Conquer-Thrive-Survive-Prosper-Rise" which I will be selling for my Team in Training fund-raising efforts!
Let me know if you want any!



Heaviest Known Weight: 285
Start of pre-op diet: 274
Surgery Day Weight: 253
Current Weight: 210

Nine weeks and halfway to goal!

I'm nine weeks post op and officially half way to goal!! Last week I measured and have lost a total of 31.75 inches head to toe! I'm loving the progress and feeling great!

Sorry I don't have any pics to include but there are a few in this video I made over the weekend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94zduEYJTAc

I little background on the video... This time last year I weighed somewhere around 285. Hunting with my hubby was not enjoyable! He likes to walk all over "walk & stalk" as he says. Last year I could hardly keep up, got winded and whiny! This year is a whole new ball game! We went out over the weekend with my nephew (xander) and brother (chad). Hubby had me trekkin all over about two miles worth of hiking, ridges, fields, hills, creeks... I never got winded! I was still whiny, but that's b/c I wanted to be in a blind on my own and sit and wait! Anyhoo, the video is of my first kill. It does include the shot so if you are an ARA, don't watch!

Regarding food at nine weeks: well, it's been about the same for me the past month or so... Some days I can really eat like 3oz a meal and other times I get like three bites in and I'm done. Either the food doesnt feel good, doesn't taste good, or I just get full! I get a lil depressed occasionally when I can't eat, because there are definitely still days I wish I could eat a real burger or have some pasta! But I'm not there yet and not sure I ever will be again! Mourning food seems ridiculous to me, but it's very real. I mean really, who cries b/c they can't have a real cheeseburger!? (this gal) who gets cranky b/c they can't indulge in a big bowl of spaghetti!? (this gal) who gets so desperate for a cheese enchilada smothered in queso that she orders one removes the tortilla and eats melted cheddar smothered in queso?! (you bet I did) I've been Shopping amazon for anything resembling a tortilla chip in low carb form like soy chips or whatever.. Really craving the crunch and wanting to feel less guilty about having an old favorite...chips/queso or salsa... And pizza... Man I want pizza lately. We never even ate it that much but for some reason it sounds good to me lately.
Damn carbs have a hold on my mind I guess! Maybe it's true what Dr. B says... "they are as addicting as cocaine" and maybe I'm going through a little regression/withdrawal. Who really knows.

Hiccupcakes

I've had the hiccups for the better part of the last hour... Pretty much everything I've had in the way of food today doesn't settle well. I'll take a couple of bites then I feel nauseous. Thought I was doing okay then I got in the shower and almost hurled. Maybe the heat wasn't such a good idea. 

Additionally, my skin is itching like CRAZY right now! I cannot stop scratching! I'm trying zirtec to see if it helps but I feel like its just my body shrinking and my skin responding. 

I've had a few orders for cakes this month! Didn't think I was quite ready last month but now I'm doing alright with having the sweet stuff around.

Not doing so hot on the journaling my food. Trying to use myfitnesspal app, but I'm still not doing it everyday! Started walking (as I posted before). Training for the half marathon in March is going to be tough but I need to do it! For myself, and for LLS.

I heard this song the other day and the chorus really struck me: 
I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive.
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise.
To fly....

I want this to be my theme for this journey. Because I came to win! And so far that's what it feels like! I'm going to conquer the weight, the diet, the emotions, and the marathon. I will survive, prosper and rise through it all! 

Time for bed, the hiccups are gone!

4 weeks and 8 weeks combined

Here are few tidbits from the Weekend TJ and I spent down in Rockport, TX... Mid October.

FLYING HIGHER!!
(friday)
Flying on a smaller plane headed to Corpus for the weekend. I had no trouble buckling my seatbelt! Last time I flew I was 50 lbs heavier. While waiting to board the plane I glanced down at my DL which I had been holding along with my boarding pass... Almost cried right there at the gate when I realized how FAT my face is on my pic! It's little realities like that that make this sooo worth the journey! 

Work... Has been insanely busy since I've been back. I think I've had maybe two days with space available. Every other day has been stacked with clients! This is definitely a good thing since being off for two weeks (no PTO) for surgery. I think we'll get caught up on things an not feel so tight financially. 

(Sunday)
Eating: it's different from day-to-day and sometimes from one meal to the next. For example, today I had a whole banana with a spoon of peanut butter for breakfast. 3 large grilled shrimp and some sautéd mushroom and onions for lunch. For dinner, I attempted about 10 bites of a taco salad at the airport bar. (no shell of course!) it really was ground meat, beans and lettuce...
After each meal today I've felt full and gross. Lunch I realized I was eating fast so I started pacing my bites. But I was still full after. Dinner which I just finished, is weighing heavy and I want to lay down!! Actually feeling a little pukey too.

(Monday) I puked at the airport. Just a little bit. Felt better by the time we boarded the plane! I think it was just a bad food choice...

I weighed this morning; 225.6!
Down 27.4 lbs since surgery. 
Post op is next Monday. I'm hopeful this will be a good rate of loss for me!




Today 11/09/2011 - 8 weeks post op - I am at 215 and have lost a total of 31.75 inches head to toe!


I've begun walking some, not as often as I should but for longer times than they wanted at my Doctors office...


I'm able to drink much more in a swallow than I was several weeks ago, so that's good! 


Didn't really plan on updating right now so I don't have much to write, but I wanted to get something on here and add a photo, even if it is an old one! 


Had a recent revelation that gave me a new outlook regarding self image and such. I can really see how my new self confidence is helping me at work and how I carry myself and everything! It's a great story I'll have to share another time. 


Sorry it's not a great update! If i get a new computer and maybe internet at home I promise to be better at this blogging thing!

4 weeks Post - op UPDATE!

Finally access to a PC with internet and a little time to catch things up!

I tried noting some stuff on my phone so I could just plug it in to the blog whenever I got around to it but I decided to just wing it this morning instead! I'm at work filling in at the front b/c 1) we're short staffed, and 2) someone didn't plan better for being short staffed. The strange thing is I'm here ALL ALONE! I'm just glad it's early in the day and not night time!

Anyhoo, back to what this blog is all about... my weightloss journey! I can't believe it's already been 1 month since I was cut and gutted (as TJ would say). Since my last update I have graduated to solid foods! YAY! Most of the time I am able to get and keep food down. I've had chopped beef, sliced beef, cheese, bacon, eggs, meatballs and marinara, allot of the normal foods I would have had before surgery, minus the carbs! I will admit though, I have had a few carbs that are not on my list of allowed foods. had a few bites of mashed potato's yesterday... and some low carb veggie chips last week, but not even a full serving. I really like orange juice right now. I'm not super concerned with caloric intake just yet b/c I'm eating such small amounts that I know I'm not exceeding or even coming close to 1000 a day!

So far the hardest adjustment has been timing my vitamins and meals with my work schedule! I've asked for breaks following each client in order to get some fluids in between clients as well, but some days I get so busy that my 30 min break dwindles down to 15 and that's not enough time for anything but drinking!

It's time to re-measure so I can see what I've lost in inches! I know it's just melting away b/c people tell me all the time and b/c this pair of pants I'm wearing to work every day get looser and looser (don't care if that's not a word). They were a little snug when I found them at the Goodwill boutique, but tried them on a week later and perfect fit! Now... I have to pull them up sometimes... I'm quickly running out of clothes to wear that don't look like drapes on me! Not a bad problem to have but I can't really afford to buy much new stuff and I hate shopping thrift stores! I like to shop in organized places! Might just have to get the sewing machine out and learn how to use it and keep some of my favorite items fitting a little longer!

Random: this morning I was feeling around my incision sites and kind of rubbing and squeezing them! I heard a pop on one and felt this little nodule release! I know it's just scar tissue so I'm not concerned, but it was so weird to hear it pop!

Okay, I'm running out of time and I know this isn't the most detailed of updates... but here's the good stuff...
weight as of last night 228! I think this is about what I weighed when I got married (5 years ago last week btw) I might try my dress on this week and see how it fits! considering last time I put it on just for kicks I couldn't even zip it! Even if this is close to what I weighed then I feel like I carry it differently... My face is looking thinner, my bra's don't roll up my back! I have pics, and will get them on here asap! they aren't attractive by any means but since every new one gets better I'm not so embarrassed to post them! just need to find the time and figure out how to get them on here!

Anyway, gotta go... more soon I promise!

Just *itchin

I just need to vent a little...

I have this rash (still) the itching is driving me CRAZY! My arms, my legs. I'm taking benadryl and applying cream... Not helping!!

My husband is asleep on the couch SNORING LOUDLY while I'm trying to watch tv. I turn it up, he snores louder!! He will not go to bed! I want to smother him with a pillow! But I won't I promise!

My cat, omg... I can't even go to the bathroom without having her under my feet! What is with her!

I've been on my cycle for a week despite being on birth control. It never lasts this long, and when the Docs said "break through bleeding" I didn't expect full on Flo!

I'm so anxious to get to the regular foods part of this whole thing! I knew this would be hard, and I am a fighter, but damn! I wanna eat!

Every couple of days I'll be up late and I just watch hours of food shows. Man vs Food is in a sense disgusting to me but sometimes I want it! I think I'm dealing with the loss of food by watching food. Is that strange?

Today I went to my cousin's daughters birthday party. All the food smelled so good! I could smell everything! Before surgery I feel like I couldn't smell anything! Sometimes this heightened sense isn't so great!

Btw: it's true what they say about vivid dreams after anastecea (sp?) I have had some very real dreams, and I can actually remember details! And yes several have been about food!

Almost 2 week update

Today is day 12.

This has definitely become the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

My energy is low.

Sense of smell is heightened beyond measure.

I'm emotional and testy.

Earlier this week I had talked to my boss about coming back to work and taking it slow, maybe a few hours here and there... the next day I told her forget it just put back on full force with a break after each of my clients. I think part of my exhaustion is related to lack of human connection... I have been home alone  for most of my recovery and that's a drastic change from being in direct contact with people on a daily basis! (remember I'm a massage therapist)

I've cheated this week also. desperate for something to actually eat rather than drink... I 've had sugar free frozen yogurt (yesterday), refried beans (last night), fried egg (2 days ago) a scrambled egg (3 days ago). the first egg I spent an hour eating. the second egg went down easier and i ate it in about 30 minutes. the beans were so satisfying and i only had about a 1/4 cup. Oh and the frozen yogurt about 5 bites but I have more in the freezer just in case... So far everything has gone down pretty easy. nothing has made me sick...

another note, and this may be TMI, but I've had breakthrough bleeding on my cycle.. I had chosen to bypass my off week on my birth control b/c I didn't want my cycle during my surgery week. Well instead I've had my cycle for a week along with mild cramping every day. It's hard to tell if I'm drained from this or the surgery, probably both!

Last night I got a little social interaction with our neighbors across the street. They all know about my surgery and had plenty of questions. It was good to get out of the house though even if it was only across the street!

Today I'm spending time at hubby's work tooling around on the computer while he works on stuff in the warehouse. Again, feels good to be out of the house but I'm still tired.

The rash... I've had this horribly itchy rash on both arms since about 3 days post op... the pharmacist told me to take Benadryl FOUR times a day!! I was like you're crazy! I'll never be awake!! so I take one before bed, one in the morning, and one in the afternoon when I feel ready for a nap anyway... I explained to her about my surgery b/c I was concerned about the meds hurting my stomach, but so far I don't feel anything there. She asked all kinds of questions about my surgery after that. I love that people are interested!

on a good note: My husband noticed the shirt I was wearing yesterday... he said how long since you've worn that shirt? So that was cool b/c I have definitely noticed my clothes NOT fitting and some of the older/smaller things fitting better! Feels great!
Anyway, guess that''s all for this update...

Later! ~Sus

First Week Reflections

So today rounds up my first week post-op and I have to say over all I feel great!

Some notes or 'reflections' on the last 7 days...

Day 1: the last thing I remember before going under was asking the operating room crew if Dr. B would take pics of my insides cuz I really wanted to see how I look in there. The answer was no. Then I have vague memory of being wheeled into my room where my hubby was waiting... They asked him to leave the room for a minute while they got me situated. Someone was 'bird feeding me pink stuff, 4 squirts and coaching me to swallow it. Couldn't keep my eyes open really... Then was in and out of it for the next couple hours. I'd wake up to my hubby spoon feeding me ice chips and asking how I was.

Finally I was asked to get out of bed and try walking around. Upon standing I got nauseated and sat in a chair for a while. More meds and fluids administered and finally I needed to pee... The first time I realized my ROM was limited, could hardly reach to wipe! Lol! Anyhow, took a slow stroll around the hospital with hubby and iv pump in tow... By 11pm I was doing two laps and had one more bottle of water to consume.

Day 2: (wednesday) discharged by 10am! All stats were great! Did not get a good nights sleep, but knew I'd get more rest at home. We had a 3.5 hour drive home and still made good time considering we stopped twice so I could walk. I was sore, but it was tolerable!

Days 3-5: pretty much all the same... Each day the pain decreases, swelling goes down, and less meds are needed. The challenge of course is getting the fluids in! I've had a lot of burping especially with water and broths.

Thursday had some mild depression, mourning food etc...

On Saturday I braved a trip to Walmart with hubby. It was a little too much activity even though I clung to the cart. But the visual overload being in the food dept was way overwhelming!

Day 6: got up for church armed with my protein shake and water bottle. Felt pretty good! Heard a great message! Love when He speaks so clearly to me that way. Oh, side note about church... The announcer guy had us greet our neighbor and ask how we could pray for them. The lady in front of me had turned to me and after introductions she said well I had Surgery on Monday... I said wow! I had surgery Tuesday! Hers was something for her colon, but we briefly compared stories and such... So neat to have such divine intervention like that!

After church, we came home and enjoyed some time together being lazy waiting for the Cowboy game to start! Which they won in overtime! Go Cowboys!!

Today: I had a nice leisurely 20 minute walk in my neighborhood. Trying to drink my fluids! And I plan to get some things (chores) done around the house.

The last two days I have been able to consume about 3oz of cream of potato soup thinned with chicken broth. I blended it so it's smooth. I also have about half a protein shake each day. Decaf tea and sf Popsicles seem to go down pretty easy as well as diet v8 splash.

I hit a wall about 4pm each day where I just feel fatigued. The first couple of days had a low grade (99.1) fever but went away with a half dose pain meds.

I switched to liquid Tylenol before bed last night. Trying to get off the pain meds all together. Also, I noticed that I hate the taste of my multi vits, currently using centrum chewables. Might try the gummies later, just don't want to waste the ones I have!

My hubby started eating around me yesterday... Not fun but okay. Some (not all) of his food smelled incredible!! My mind is swirling with ideas on new foods for when I get there! I'm anxious to try shiratake noodles and experiment with some recipes!

My rings are already spinning on my fingers!

Hoping to be ready to work by the end of this liquid phase (1 more week, thank God!)

So far so good!

Heaviest known weight: 285. Start of Pre-op diet: 273.  Day of surgery: 253. Day after surgery: 261. Today's weight: 241.

Guess that's it!

My journey through weight loss surgery... so far!

Forward: I'm at the Library to type this all out and give my profile a little flare... I have the worst Laptop EVer...and NO internet connection at home(except thru my awesome iPhone). So hopefully I won't lose the connection before I finish typing b/c it will be the biggest pain in the ass to start over!! 

Lets See... Sometime around May this year (2011) my husband approached me with the idea of getting a consult for WLS. we talked about our options for financing and could we afford it, etc.. the truth is No, we definitely could spend this money onn home improvements, paying off our pos chevy malibu, or a thousand other things could be done with this money. BUT the truth is, what's te point of all those "other things" if we are both sitting here in our unhealthy Obese states...

So that week I scheduled an appointment with a well known WLS doc here in DFW metro area and had my first consult that Wednesday (May 4). I began the process of 'researching' the different options and went to that consult with the idea that I was going to get the Lap Band. Well the doctor gave me a different perspective and I'm glad he did! He explained to me that being w/out medical insurance it would be more beneficial for me to have the Sleeve over the band due to the risks of complications and future surgeries b/c of those complications being greater with the Band... okay doc, sounds good... what next? well he shoo'd me into the scheduling office to get a surgery date... I became overwhelmed, the reality of ME getting this LIFE CHANGING surgery was hitting me very hard, very fast.... i got emotional right there in the schedulers office. Since at that point we had not secured our finiancing i went ahead and gathered contact info and left their office without a surgery date (which btw, could have been as early as the first week of June).

After what felt like FOREVER we secured partial financing for my surgery. We opted to borrow funds from my husbands 401k. I say borrow loosely b/c you don't return the funds, but technically it's borrowed money. Money which a mere 6 weeks later wasn't worth the same as it was when we got it! something about the stock market crashing a couple weeks ago that I don't understand and wouldn't began to know how to explain. all I know is we got the money while the gettin was good!

Somewhere during that waiting period I began Shopping around for other surgeons, mainly for pricing. I had searched the diff docs in Mexico and when I mentioned it to my husband he said "Absolutely NOT" especially the doc just across the border from Eagle Pass, TX b/c the news had just been reporting that week about drug wars and killings, etc. Scary stuff!! I looked into our surrounding States LA, & OK...called a few offices, and that's when I discovered Dr. Broussard at Weight Wise Bariatrics. I immediately was drawn to the $9995 price ($2500 less the the first I had gone to) for Sleeve listed on the  home page. (www.weightwise.com) Then I began reading about the program. I signed up online for the next availible saturday info meeting. Got a confirmation call only to be told that the website had not stopped registering ppl at it's limit and could I come to the next. well I work every other wknd so I had to wait another 2 weeks for the info meeting! At this point I felt like I had been waiting forever! BTW, the meeting is held in Edmond, OK which is 3.5 hour drive from Fort Worth (where I live) and it started at 9AM! I drug my sister out with me before the crack of dawn and we made it with 30 mins to spare!
I felt so good after hearing from Dr. Broussard himself the details of their program and was absolutely sure he was going to be my surgeon! I scheduled my consult before I left that day!

Since then I have endured a laundry list of appointments and todo's!

June 25: Info meeting at Weight Wise
July 7: first WLS support group meeting (required pre-op)
July 11: Consult with Dr Broussard, Diet & Excercise, & EKG
August 1: updated Anual PAP with OBGYNO (required pre-op)
August 2: Sleep Study in OKC (required pre-op)
August 3: initial Labs, Consult with Psych (required pre-op)
August 4: second monthly WLS group meeting (required by Dr. B)
August 10: follow up with D/E, Post op Diet class (required pre-op)
Sept 1: PRE-OP!! and CPAP prep with Respiratory Therapist
Sept 8: monthly support group meeting
Sept 13: Surgery day!

I have been on a Pre-op weight loss diet since my initial visit with D/E on July 11th. I have a goal to lose 27 pounds by Sept 1st. My startig weight was 274 (in their office) and right now, today I'm 253... I keep hovering between 253-256... but I'm sure I'll meet my pre-op goal of 247 by then! I'm hoping not to have to do any of the liquid diet before my surgery date, but we'll see!

My initial consult with the doc here in TX left me feeling rushed and panicky... where as with Dr. B I felt informed and held accountable for my actions! When I told him I wanted to try and have surgery by the end of August, he said well you've got a lot of work to do before then and from a long distance! Are you sure? and I told him I'm determined! so here it is approaching, and yeah we pushed it into the 2nd week of Sept  but that was for financial reasons and nothing more!

Witht the sleep study and CPAP requirements, and some of the other testing costs and stuff our final cost is going to be around $12,500. Even the distance is worth driving for the confidence I have in Dr. B and his staff providing me with the tools to succeed!

Food for thought...

"The greatest revenge is to accomplish what others say you cannot do." -unknown

Testing 1...2...

Hey!
So I'm making an attempt at blogging a major event in my life coming up pretty soon... Working on getting my Internet back up and running at home. So for now I'm coming to you live from my iPhone! Lol! We'll see how this goes! More on what's happening soon I just wanted to get something posted to see how well this works!